Inside NYSC camp

By Goodness Chiwendu

1. Charging phones: Corps members are not allowed to charge phones in the hostels. Do not even think of breaking the law because there is no socket or provision for that. To charge phones or torchlight, you will have to pay #50 to those doing it as business at 'Mami market', that is, if you really want to charge your phones and torchlight.

2. Light out hour: Once it is 10:00pm, Prospective Corps Members are expected to be on their mattress, sleeping like dogs, at this time, the only noise expected from you is ‘snoring’. All light must be off, no call, no chat, nothing nothing except sleep and dreams until 4.00am when you will be chased out to pared ground. Do not violate this law because soldiers will deal with you decisively.

3. Sex and romance: Maybe you have heard or misinformed that camp is an opportunity for sexual activities, that you should go with some condoms. Unfortunately there is no room for that (bad market I guessed!.. lol!). You better go to camp without any condom in order to avoid sexual temptations or urge. There is no space for sexual relationship in NYSC camp. Females hostels and male hostels are far apart with Soldiers patrolling day and night. Soldiers are everywhere, if you were seen crawling around opposite sex hostel, brother or sister your name will be sorry. 

At night, if they see you in any secluded place with opposite sex or even with the same sex, guess what? They will decamp you.

4. Falling in love: NYSC camp is not an ideal place for love or meeting life partner. In camp some ladies are too cheap to get, but you won’t know who is who; and devil may decide to use one to tempt you.
Many of the girls you say, "Hello" to tend to reply with "Hi" times ten. Brother they are after your pocket. Of course, they knew that commissioners sons must be somewhere in camp, so they can easily fall for you in order to get to your pocket. And you know what? She knew you cannot demand for SOME THING because soldiers are watching. If soldiers  caught two of you!!!

Girls always chop 'mumu' guys. You think she is in love with you, after 21 days in camp, if you they will post two of you to different PPA and Local govt, you will be very sorry for yourself because she won’t even remember your name again. But if your pocket is big she might still be hanging around you after camp, or perhaps, you might not meet her again.
5. NYSC food: Even though the food is always like poison, eat it if you can.  But some people are too funny shaa…! You will see men ‘forming’, feeling too big to eat NYSC food. You will see going to Mami market, but after one week in camp, you will be surprise to see them queue up to collect NYSC food. O boy money don finish!!

6. Fainting: It is common to see Corpers fainting in NYSC Pared ground. Do not be surprise when you faint or see another person faint. Huge guys with big muscles do faints as well. So it is not a matter of,, how big I am (NYSC camp no be moi moi).

7. You must wake up every morning, around 4:30am for morning drills; you will pared until 8:00am.  and you will be released to take your breakfast, after that another pared or boring SAES lecture. when you come back from the lecture, another drill. No time to rest (look at you, you think say there is rest in NYSC camp?)

8. Snoring: This one is the most annoying thing you will ever meet in camp. It is very common that after all the drills and stress soldiers caused you , your fellow PCMs will not allow you to sleep... Have you ever slept in a small hall containing about 300 people and at night not less than 150 people will be snoring, heavy one oo. Oh! oh! you thought you would have your own room? Hahaha! The hostel is like a hall, every body will be there, sleep there, pack there properties there.

9.. Stand Still: you must stand still for Nigeria to sleep at 6:00pm and  at 6:00 am you mus stand still for  Nigeria to wake. This you must do when you hear the beagle’s sound, you must remain stand still until the sound stop.

10. Please, come with enough money. #15,000 is ok, but you will have to be combining NYSC food and mami food OR come with #40,000 if you have no intention to eat NYSC poisoned food.. LOL!


No comments:

Post a Comment